My octo-lacto buddy Fraser and I headed into work today to play catch up on a few things ahead of what is shaping up to be a pretty big Monday. On a Saturday, most local eateries are closed in the area of town we work in, so around 2:30pm we were famished. We decided to head out to the local supermarket to pick up some supplies.

Feeling a little lazy, I tried to convince Fraser to try out Vinyl Coffee Shop in Mt Eden as I know they have an extensive vegan menu, however after being serenaded repeatedly over the course of several minutes by Lionel Richie’s ‘Say You, Say Me’ & ‘Hello’ (get it – Vinyl Richie? Sigh…), I gave up and agreed we’d just rustle something up in my kitchen when we got home. A couple of weeks ago, Fraser ordered a vegetarian pizza from Hell’s that was topped with a meat free, dairy free chicken analogue called Quorn. After doing a bit of research on Quorn and it’s stable of products, I can tell you that these analogues are made up of mycoprotein, a single cell protein.

Mycoprotein literally means proteins from fungus, with Quorns’ products being derived from the fungus fusarium venenatum. The fungi culture is dried and then mixed with a binding agent, adjusted in texture and pressed into various forms.

Unfortunately the main binding agent used for Quorn is egg albumen, meaning that these products are not vegan.

I am usually so vigilant about checking the ingredients & nutritional content of products and have been since I started this journey 20 days ago so I am super disappointed to learn that I today I unwittingly consumed an animal by-product. I haven’t worn leather or suede, I haven’t used any makeup that’s not cruelty free – hell, even my hair dye is certified vegan – so its been an absolute bummer. What is of some consolation is that they use free range eggs and the vegetarian society approves their products.

In good news however, I learned how to make a sick as vegannaise. I’ll just be at home smothering it on potato chips. *Sniff*

Recipe – Vegannaise

Ingredients List

1/2 cup canola oil

1/4 cup soy milk

1/2 tsp mustard (I used Mild American)

1 tbsp. lemon juice or apple cider vinegar

Freshly ground cracked pepper

3/4 tsp salt

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients except lemon juice (or vinegar) in the food processor or blender, blending until smooth. I sued a magic bullet – so easy!
2. Slowly add the lemon juice or vinegar until the mixture thickens.
3. Add salt, black pepper and extra mustard to taste.

That’s it! So easy.

Love,

Charli x ❤

I live in the cultural melting pot that is Mt Albert, a stones’ throw from Auckland’s Sandringham, which has become somewhat of a little Calcutta in our city. You can sample the most amazing Middle Eastern, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Indo & Singaporean cuisine here, from the North Indian inspired Top In Town, Sri Lankan 7 Siri, to the hugely popular Paradise.

Within walking distance from my home you will find Chinoiserie, a quaint little eatery that is the brain child of brothers Jasper & Ludo Maignot, and Jasper’s partner Celeste Thornley who are also the owners of neighbouring café, L’oeuf.

The restaurant has been there for a fair while now, and whilst I have been desperate to try their menu, I’d also promised Christian that my first outing there would be with him on one of our very rare dates. Last Wednesday night, he was enviously going out for dinner to the Ponsonby Food Court with a friend so I decided that I could wait no longer and told him that I was going to take Ethan there for dinner, so that I could sample the tofu gua bao. Bao is a Taiwanese snack food, consisting typically of a slice of stewed meat and other condiments, served between flat steamed bread.

Octo-lacto Fraser joined Ethan & I for dinner and it wasn’t long after we reviewed the menu that we were up at the counter ready to order. Chinoiserie is a cool, no frills dining experience where the chefs pride themselves on flavour and food instead of flashy tableside service. Sherita is one of my favourite features of the L’oeuf/Chinoiserie family and she doted on the three of us while we waited for our meals.

Fraser accompanied his gua bao with Szechuan peanuts.

Szechuan or Sichuan is a province in South-western China. When referenced in dishes, it refers to the style of cuisine that would typically be found in this province. Sichuan cuisine is bold in flavour, using lashings of garlic & chilli.

Our gua bao arrived, served in little bamboo eco-friendly boats. The slaw that sat atop the slices of lovingly seasoned tofu was sufficiently coated in sesame dressing, topped with peanuts and served with satay made in-house. Whilst deceptively small, these little buns are not only jam packed full of flavour, and are incredibly filling.

In terms of décor, the interior of the restaurant & bar is reminiscent of a Chinese opium den. There is a hand painted Chinese dragon motif painted along the entire left side of the restaurant, which only serves to throw your imagination directly into a scene out of Kurt Russell’s ‘Big Trouble In Little China‘.

After the lacklustre experience that was New Flavour last week, Chinoiserie is a breath of fresh air. It is affordable, local and has a sincere focus on fresh and tasty ingredients. Go here now – or wait for the first Sunday session! Announced earlier this week by Chinoiserie as Feb 22.

Love,

Charli x

I recently moved into the IT department at work, as a Business Analyst working with a bunch of developers using the Agile methodology to produce work. Agile is a software methodology, an alternative to traditional project management where emphasis is placed on empowering people to collaborate and make team decisions in addition to continuous planning, continuous testing and continuous integration. My boss Jovica is an Agile guru and speaks passionately about the Agile Manifesto, stating quite matter-of-factly that AGILE doesn’t work without the core principles (the manifesto) being applied.

When I was first introduced to this project delivery style, I was excited. The idea that actually talking to someone else to understand and resolve a problem as opposed to creating, reading and producing mountains of documentation that really in my honest opinion is a waste of time, was so appealing. Interacting with one another as opposed to relying on a business process or tool? Wow. It seems like common sense, but you would be amazed at how little in an office you tend to interact with the person who sits next to you. I once got an email from a former boss who literally sat in the cubicle next to me, asking me a question. I peered over the partition and asked him why he felt the need to send me an email instead of speaking to me, like a person. It wasn’t as if he was asking me to do something and needed evidence that he had asked, keeping a papertrail…it was just a question.

As technology has evolved, the ability for us as human beings to truly communicate with one another seems to have become a lost art. While out having coffee recently, the waitress who attended to our table asked me if I would like the Wi-Fi password after taking my order. I was taken aback for a minute, wondering what on earth I’d said while ordering my soy latte would’ve made her think that I needed internet access. Then I realised, as I glanced around the café, that pretty much every single person in the place was peering intently at a device, taking a selfie, taking a picture of their cake & coffee for Instagram…as opposed to drinking in the company of the person or people at the table opposite them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of social media and have been guilty on doing exactly this. Just ask my husband who until recently despised social media. He’s a photographic purist, preferring to shoot film over digital media. He’s recently setup a business Instagram account and one of his most loved hastags has become #staybrokeshootfilm. Needless to say, I haven’t married him for his money. I often joke with him that if he’s not careful, I’ll divorce him and take half of all the nothing that he has.

I love the fact that despite the fact many of my old friends now live overseas, I can still know within the click of a button what they ate for dinner last night, where they got their hair cut, who they’re now dating…my best friend is in San Francisco at this very minute, sending me pictures on WhatsApp of the view from his dodgy motel. He spent the day at Alcatraz today with his baby sister, and through the wonders of Facebook it was almost like I took the tour with them. Technology is an amazing thing. But! So is truly and honestly getting to know a person and the feeling you get from another human being who is genuinely interested in YOU, in your wellbeing, in your life and all of its’ intricacies. Kinda went on a tangent there.

The point is, I now work with a couple of guys who have just started the Ludus Magnus 6 week transformation challenge. Elvin conveniently lives across the street from the arena, and had been convinced by long-time Ludian Fraser to take the plunge. Elvin has been at me since joining the gym to come along and take a class. I used to train upstairs at Glenside Boxing’s former location with Simon Rothwell, and remember watching the LM afternoon sessions take place, dozens of Ludians bear-crawling up the crescent in the rain, some shirtless, thinking…well, eff that. Crawling up the street? No thanks!

I don’t have an aesthetically attractive body shape. I’m overweight for my age & height, have an arse like a shelf (no seriously, you could rest a glass on this butt), teeny tiny boobs and a huge head. One of the things that attracted me to Glenside was the fact that most people who were training in the gym were totally disinterested in whatever it was I was doing or were supportive in the fact that I’d made the decision to push myself out of my obvious sedentary lifestyle and into fitness. Mere mortals trained in the gym, as opposed to the gym goers of Ludus Magnus who all appeared to be athletes, nothing but well oiled muscle & sinew. I stopped training with Simon after Glenside moved premises to their new location in Minnie Street, for a couple of reasons. Mostly, I needed to save money for my wedding. It has been a few months since my wedding, so I should probably start making plans to go back to some form of training.

Rocky who also works on the same floor and introduced me to my former trainer Simon, asked me if I would be keen to give Ludus’ $5 Friday lunchtime class a go. After repeatedly turning down Elvin’s requests to join him, Fraser and my colleague Joseph, my immediate reaction was to say no, emphatically. But for anyone who knows Rocky, if you tell her no, you’d better be prepared to give a thoughtful and informative fact based reason as to why. ‘I don’t want to’, isn’t really going to cut it. Knowing this, I thought for a couple of minutes about what excuse I could give her to not attend on Friday. After wracking my brain and coming up with zilch, I said “hmm, okay”.

The commercial director and one of the IT support team also decided to join us – I figured if anything, the class would be a bit of a laugh and that it was less intimidating attending the class with a group of newbies as opposed to by myself.

Ludus Magnus is what I would refer to as a gym that focusses on gladiatorial or crossfit style training, utilising the most basic of gym equipment, weights, resistance and circuit training to make up the majority of their regimes with a focus on nutrition and strength. Stepping into the ‘arena’, you would almost be forgiven for confusing the gym for a mechanics workshop, tyres stacked up in tidy piles ready for use in training. There is a noticeable lack of mirrored panels in this gym. As founder Joe mentioned during his welcome spiel to the newcomers, this is due to the fact that Ludus’ philosophy is a focus on training, not your ego. This philosophy was and is appealing to me. I don’t exactly like to watch myself struggle redfaced with burpies, jump squats, lunges and wall balls. It makes me self conscious. I’d like to say that I don’t give a shit about people watching me work out, but I do. I fucking do, I hate it, don’t look, for the love of all things holy.

Before the class started, Doctores Joe welcomed all the newcomers and pointed out all of the ‘Lanistas‘ (trainers) in the arena. Some of their faces were familiar – Ruben Wiki, former NRL player (Canberra & Warriors fame) crouched beside me during the class, smashing out frogs, burpies and bear crawls without incident. He smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up while I struggled through my kettlebell swings. I sheepishly lifted my fist in the air and smiled through the overwhelming desire I had to vomit, violently. Throughout the next hour, I struggled through the beginners’ routine. I have to admit, this is not for the faint of heart for even the entry level routine had me struggling to breathe, working both my upper and lower body in totality. I left the class early, having to attend a meeting back at work with Jovica. The walk back was painful, and I essentially dragged myself there. I realised I’d not eaten before the class, which might have explained why I felt so nauseous, weak and lightheaded. I did so in my sweaty gym clothes, shoving my face with pure cacao chocolate flavoured with candied orange peel pieces, vegan chorizo pizza & a Peruvian mango, washed down with a blue powerade. Even after this, I struggled with focussing on work for the afternoon and made the decision to leave the office slightly early to get home and soak in a magnesium sulphate bath.

Recently, my husband and son Ethan took a 10 day holiday to Brisbane. Whilst they were there, I made my husband promise that he would bring me gifts back from Australia, as my suitcase is without fail always packed with presents for him upon my return from Melbourne, where I regularly visit my father, brothers and sister. My husband dutifully did as I asked, bringing back a suitcase packed full of Black Milk & Lush Cosmetics. One of the Lush products Christian brought home for me was the French Kiss bubble bar. It takes its’ aromatic inspiration from Paris, fragranced with essential oils of rosemary, thyme & lavender. A bubble bar is exactly what it sounds like; crumble one of these bad boys under running water whilst drawing a bath and watch the water turn purple and the bar produce a near-on-offensive amount of bubbles! I climbed into the bath to soak my aching limbs, tolerating the heat of the water for a mere half hour. I’m a crazy fan of Lush baths and highly recommend them, Phoenix Rising bombs & The Comforter Bubble bar being some of my favourite bath products. Two days later? I can barely walk. My inner thighs ache. My knees are crispy. Crispy! My chest aches. My upper thigh, back, neck, lumbar area….you name it. It hurts. I have never in my entire life ever experienced this kind of full body ache.

I spent a good hour and a half last night rubbing my legs and chest out with Ice Gel & Arnica. This morning when I got out of bed, I noticed a huge difference in the tightness of my muscles and found it a little easier to manoeuvre around the house.

I used the Wiccy Magic Muscles massage bar on my shoulders, neck and upper arms. This massage bar contains an impressive array of ingredients that aide its overall massaging properties; cinnamon leaf oil is added to counteract any feelings one might have of weakness, depression and/or exhaustion. It’s also consider to be an antiseptic, antibiotic & analgesic ingredient. Cinnamon leaf oil has a musky and spicy scent, and a light yellow tinge that distinguishes it from the red-brown color of cinnamon bark oil.

Cinnamon leaf oil can work wonders as a quick pick-me-up or stress buster after a long and tiring day, or if you want to soothe your aching muscles and joints. This oil has a warm and antispasmodic effect on your body that helps ease muscular aches, sprains, rheumatism, and arthritis. It’s also a tonic that reduces drowsiness and gives you an energy boost if you’re physically and mentally exhausted.

Cinnamon leaf oil offers benefits against viral infections, such as coughs and colds, and helps prevent them from spreading.

It even aids in destroying germs in your gallbladder and bacteria that cause staph infections. When diffused using a vaporizer or burner, cinnamon leaf oil can help treat chest congestion and bronchitis. Cinnamon can also help remove blood impurities and even aid in improving blood circulation. This helps ensure that your body’s cells receive adequate oxygen supply, which not only promotes metabolic activity but also reduces your risk of suffering from a heart attack.

Cinnamon leaf oil has gastric benefits as well, mainly because of its eugenol content. It works well for alleviating nausea, upset stomach, and diarrhea. It also works as an antibacterial agent that can promote good digestion.

Needless to say, today I’m feeling loads better. To summarise this experience, would I do it again? I know this might be hard to believe, but yes, I totally would do another F&#k Yourself Up! Friday at Ludus Magnus; despite all of the whinging I’ve done here, it was fun and an experience that I’m glad I had.

Love,

Charli x

New Flavour is one of those restaurants where everyone you know, knows someone who’s eaten there.

In its’ former life as a humble, local Chinese restaurant in Balmoral, nestled amongst the mobile phone repair stores, Clip N’ Climb and the Capitol Cinema, the staff & service were horrendous. This is before they featured prominently in Metro Magazine’s Top 50 Cheap Eats issue, of course – a public announcement that the restaurant was a definite go-to for groups dining on a budget and wanting authentic cuisine.

If you were going to go to New Flavour, it was recommended that you ensure that at least one of your party was Chinese or looked remotely of Eastern descent to get any kind of reasonable service. You would often see older women perched above one of the large industrial chest freezers they have pushed up against the wall in the walk space between the counter and the toilets, toiling away stuffing pastries with pork mince, ginger and chives – all lovingly handmade, with the skill of a learned craftsman.

The staff would eye you warily as you entered enquiring as to whether a table was free and then haphazardly throw the laminated menus in your general direction, but not before bringing a bunch of forks to the table. Regardless, New Flavour would without fail always do a roaring trade, especially after midnight on a Saturday where you would be sure to find half of Auckland’s metal scene crammed into a corner enjoying the restaurant’s BYO status, drinking merrily and consuming their own weight in fried dumplings smothered in chilli oil & soy sauce.

These days, I am happy to report the service is much better. The staff are actually friendly! Barilla Dumpling House is still my preferred place for these tasty morsels, a stones throw from New Flavour but Ethan and I decided that we were going to try some tofu here after realising disappointedly that Spicy House (my favourite restaurant along Dominion Road’s Chinatown) was closed.

It was pretty early on Thursday evening when we managed to snag a table by the entrance. Auckland’s weather of late has regularly been a balmy 28 degrees, so sitting by the open doorway was a blessing. Ethan was pretty confident that he wanted steamed dumplings with chicken and I decided on the fried tofu, an eggplant & capsicum dish & vegetarian dumplings after confirming with the waitress that there was no egg in the stuffing.

My octo-lacto vegetarian challenge buddy Fraser joined us for dinner after I’d ordered. As both sets of dumplings were to be steamed, I was pretty confused when the waitress asked me if it was cool that the chicken dumplings be piled on the same plate as the vegetarian ones as there would literally be no way to tell the difference between either. I had been explicit in my dietary requirements when I initially ordered, asking careful questions to ensure that there was no gelatine or any kind of beef/bovine based thickening agent in the gravy that accompanied the eggplant & capsicum and that the vegetarian dumplings didn’t contain egg or dairy. This is something I am having difficulty getting used to. As a people pleaser, I do feel like I’m being unnecessarily difficult, but realise that people who have allergies also go through this drama every single time they eat out. I’m not trying to be a dick, but animals aren’t mine to consume right now. I’m just…ugh.

Disappointingly as the fried tofu arrived at the table, I realised it was literally just that. It wasn’t seasoned, literally just pieces of the stuff crispily deep fried. With hardly another option, I smothered the golden pieces of goodness with soy, Chinese vinegar & soy sauce and apologised to Fraser for my poor menu choice.

The capsicum & eggplant was delicious, served with a thick brown gravy and lashings of smashed garlic cloves which only served to enhance the flavour of the dish. Again however the dumplings were disappointing, almost a mere afterthought by the restaurant to cater to their veggo audience. I tore one of the dumplings open to find the contents were largely grated carrot, tofu pieces (again unseasoned, flavourless), vermicelli noodles & chives.

Our dinner was reasonably priced at just over $59 (Ethan got a sugar pancake to take home), so it was definitely not a terrible expensive ‘error’ but in summary, I have to assume that based on the reviews available online by local vegans of New Flavours’ offerings, which are largely positive, that I just ordered really poorly or they had an off night.

I would recommend that you save yourself the trip out of the inner city and see our friends at Peach Pit instead.

Love,

Charli x

For more than a year and a half, I have worked part time as an event floor manager of sorts for a woman named Natalie Zibung.

Nat is an event producer extraordinaire, working in the Australian film & TV industry for many years. She also co-hosts a radio show, is a humanitarian and the brains behind Lick Entertainment.

Born in 2009, Lick Entertainment produces events for the lesbian and bisexual community both here in Auckland and across Australia.
In terms of my own involvement, it all started out as a bit of a laugh and a way to earn a bit of extra cash on what I imagined would be a relatively relaxed Saturday night.
Oh how I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I have identified with and been a part of the LGBTQIA community for more than 15 years, and pretty much for all intents and purposes identify as a cisgender pansexual – but I’m married – helping out on the door at an event for girls…who love girls. The irony being that a lot of our guests are singles, some of whom are looking to ‘hook up’, and others who are seeking out that significant other. It makes for some interesting evenings!
Being married also makes it easy I guess to deal with women who come through our doors who are extraordinarily attractive and perhaps used to fluttering their eyelashes to get into clubs pro bono…and make them pay the cover charge. Better living, everybody.

Over time, I’ve learnt that it’s an incredibly empowering and uplifting experience to be a part of Lick Auckland, largely operated and hosted by…women. The exception in our ground crew is the wonderful photographer Jake Skipper from JVS Photography who has become a regular feature at these events.
As Natalie lives in Australia, it’s become much easier for her to rely on a local crew to run the evenings and occasionally when her schedule allows for it, she will make an appearance, much to the delight of her regular punters. She is most definitely a celebrity amongst the crowd on the evenings she does manage the flight over…but it’s tough going. This round, she clocked out from the bar at 1:45am and had to be at the airport at 5am to check in for her flight home. As they say, you can sleep when you’re dead!

The event ‘Androgyny’ was our first hosted at the popular music liquor kitchen Orleans in Britomart.
Heralding itself as a music venue serving Creole & Cajun food inspired by that of its namesake, Orleans is neighbour to popular haunt Racket.

Located on Roukai Lane, the interior is dotted with flickering candles and antique ephemera from the Deep South, with a fitout mixing antique pendant lights with exposed timber walls. On Saturday night the live band shuts up shop at 10pm and the restaurants furniture reorganised to a nightclub setting, freeing up the floor for dancing and loitering.

I’d got an SMS from Nat earlier in the day encouraging me to come along a little earlier than 10pm and offering to shout me dinner. After an evening and early morning of boozing the day before I could barely summon the energy to Google Orleans’ menu but let her know I would be there on time to meet her for a quick bite. I figured I could just share a drink with her, catch up and talk some shit. I also remembered that the last time I ate at Orleans as a carnivore that they served Kool-Aid.

I don’t usually drink when I’m working Lick parties as I think it’s important to remain clear headed in the event that something significant occurs…and I’m a hilariously terrible drunk. The most memorable evening we ever had was at Libertine when a fire alarm went off, and a bevy of buff, uniformed firemen showed up in their utility vehicle in response after the venue was evacuated – needless to say, this was another ironic Lick Auckland moment!

My friend Dave popped over to hang out and from the depths of my couch despair pleaded with him to help me out of my mess of a hangover by driving down to Burger Fuel and buying a couple of tofu burgers for us. Ooh, and a soy shake.

The Combustion Tofu burger at BurgerFuel is a certified vegan option, provided that you ask for it to be served sans aioli. Their spud fries are not pre-cooked in any animal products or fried in store that way either – they use 100% canola oil! Whilst their fries are traditionally served with natural or lemon aioli, they do make provisions for vegans and allow you to swap out your condiment for a vegan option. The relish and satay sauces made in their own Satellite kitchen are 100% vegan.
Soy shakes are vegan also, with the exception of chocolate as the syrup contains dairy.

I’m super grateful that I got to eat beforehand, as when I arrived Nat had been gracious enough to order up some nibbles before I arrived, fifteen minutes late no less.
The hostess brought out some crumbed shrimp po boys, and whilst the old me would have been hungrily salivating, 6-day old vegan me was horrified. I laughed and explained my new lifestyle change to Nat before admitting that I’d already eaten just in case and asking the General Manager to fix me up a jug of delicious sugary Grape Kool-Aid. After reviewing the menu, I was stoked to have already been fed, as most of the vegetarian options available on Orleans’ menu contained dairy, with the exception of the sweet potato gnocchi with basil which looked delicious.

The band dismantled it’s gear and our wonderful resident DJ Darnell got on the decks as the bar started to fill with punters.

In short? It was a success. Express magazine was in attendance both to photographically document and review the event.

The next Lick Auckland event is scheduled in February, after the annual Pride parade. Needless to say…it’s going to be a big night.
I will prepare by doing nothing until then x

Love,

Charli x

Anyone who’s ever set foot in my house knows that I have a penchant for vintage, curiosities, macabre artworks, religious iconography and knick knacks. This addiction to kitsch homewares was inherited from my mother, who is an avid collector of pretty much everything and anything she deems to be beautiful.

Keiran D Sipes is hands down one of my favourite local artists; he also happens to be my preferred and favourite personal tattooer and over the years has become a dear friend. His artwork litters the walls of my home, dotted amongst prints from other talented NZ artists, Viennese based babe Sam Rulz, Alex Heart, original artworks gifted to me personally by the immensely talented Joshua Wetere Paki and the Melbourne based Rachie T & Godfrey Atlantis to name a few.

I’ve collected many things over the years, including religious statues from Sydney & Melbourne respectively,ceramic busts, clocks, candles, decorative plates and vinyl; this makes Junk & Disorderly on Auckland’s North Shore somewhat of a haven.

I strongly encourage you to check it out! I’m confident that it will become a regular haunt for my friends and I – seriously, you could spend hours in the building poring over all the amazing antiques and collectables on offer.

Word to the wise? Take cash and loads of it!

Love,

Charli x